$(function(){
  var phrases = ["I'm at the bottom of the river between Vega and Altair.",
                 "I'm napalm in the jungle.",
                 "I bring the motherfuckin' ruckus.",
                 "I remember Vera Lynn.",
                 "Here's to the failing, fucking, health.",
                 "I am a camera.",
                 "wub wub wub.",
                 "I'm the guy who knows where the corpses are hidden."
                ];

  $("#phrase").text(phrases[Math.floor(Math.random() * phrases.length)]);
});